Diabetes

Y'all may have figured out that Lullah is a diabetic. Or maybe you haven't. The Husband is too. She was diagnosed at age 8 and he was diagnosed at 20. They take between them 8-10 shots daily depending on their blood sugar levels. They each check their blood sugars at least 4 times a day. I once added up the number of injections and fingersticks per year. I wish I hadn't done that.

I'm bringing this up because of a conversation Lullah and I had this evening over supper. We were discussing having babies(see my rant about teenage pregnancy). She stated, rather firmly I thought,that she plans to adopt. When I questioned her a little further, she in a round about way alluded that the main reason is she's afraid of what it would do to her blood sugars. And that if she couldn't maintain control what it would do to a baby. She's 15. She's already worrying about shit like that. She worries about dialysis, amputation, blindness. Damn.

About 2 years ago, we were talking and she said that she went to bed every night afraid that she wouldn't wake up. She said she was afraid she would die. At that time, we were having trouble with her blood sugars getting very low during the night. I would check them every one-two hours most nights. She has had 2 hypoglycemic seizures and the husband has had 1. Thankfully, it has been a while since they've had them.

My kid was aware of her mortality at age 13, probably younger. She figured out pretty early that life isn't fair. I worry about what that has done to her psyche. She seems ok, and we are one of those disgusting families that "talk about" everything. But still, I worry.

One of the things that is particularly sucky for Lullah (her word) is that she absolutely must be aware of EVERY bite of food that she puts in her mouth and her friends eat like crazy.
One of her best friends eats Little Debbies(PLURAL) like there is no tomorrow. That kid eats crap, it's kinda amazing. Lullah not only is careful about what she eats, she gets a pretty good amount of exercise too. She dances at least an hour per day. Most days much more. Still she battles her blood sugars AND her weight. Her blood sugars are not within the range that we (she, her MD, me and the husband) would like to see them. And the MD has stated that she doesn't need to gain another pound. It really does seem like a war sometimes.

What do you say that will make her feel better? I don't think there is anything that will.
*Life isn't fair.
*God doesn't put more on us than we can carry.
*What doesn't kill us will make us stronger.
*There are so many things that are much worse.
*There are so many people dealing with things that are much worse.
*You are brave and fabulous and adversity builds character.
Yeah, we've said all of that. And more.

And so, we just trudge on.