Oh the drama...

I'm at a loss. I was prepared for raising a teenager to include varying degrees of sarcasm, rebellion, barfing in the tomato bushes and just generally being treated like an idiot savant. I wasn't prepared for the real heartbreak.

Lullah's best friend is one of the funniest kids I know. She can inevitably make you laugh. I should add, a talent held in very high regard in our household. She can also be one of the meanest kids you'd ever want to be around. Almost to a sociopathic level. When they were little she would do things just to be mean. She once hid one shoe of every pair of Barbie shoes that Lullah had, in her borderline OCD manner, lined neatly in her Barbie supplies. When I confronted her she said she did it because she " felt like it and I knew she'd freak out". This is also the friend that this summer slept with Lullah's ex-boyfriend(she was 14 at the time) and then while we were on vacation stole Lullah's boyfriend. Try explaining to an overwraught teenager that she will eventually be ok. (not an easy task) They didn't speak for almost 4 months except when absolutely necessary. Lullah was miserable. She cried herself to sleep 3-4 nights a week during this period. The girl finally came to her and made a heartfelt apology. The sun shone, the wind blew, the angels sang and Lullah's world righted.

Some background on the friend. Her family life is a little skewed. There have been a number of major health issues with her parents in the 6 years. Her mom was in a coma, her dad was diagnosed with a major degenerative disease. I suspect there are financial issues as well. Prior to their fight this summer we had to go get the friend because her older sister was threatening suicide (apparently not the first time). I also suspect that the girl has an eating disorder, bullimia, I think. A few weeks ago, the friend called our house hysterical. Her mother and sister had gotten into an argument and the mom told them she was going to kill herself and promptly left the house. She was gone almost half a day, until the sheriff's office finally contacted her and threatened to hospitalize her if she didn't go home. She has also since then told the dad that she will eventually leave and they won't be able to find her. My point is, this girl's life is a mess. Her behavior is not completely a suprise. Our house has been a haven for her. She spent more time here than at home until very recently. We're the stable part of her life.

Today the friend called Lullah and told her that she'd had sex with her new boyfriend and then later that night one of their other friend's boyfriend had tried to "get" with her, but she'd rebuffed him. Turns out that was a half truth. She didn't actually rebuff the second boy. Lullah is pretty upset. Her exact words were "I can't be her friend, she's a slut and a liar".

The mom in my head screamed "yeeeees". The freaked out depressed suicidal teenager in my head said "that poor girl is crazy just like you were".

I don't want Lullah around this girl, period. She has broken my child's heart and trust. I've had to hold Lullah too many nights while she sobbed over a lost friendship because of this girl. I don't like her anymore. I don't want her in my house. I don't want her in my car. I don't want her in my yard. I don't want her in my daughter's life.

But, my heart breaks for the girl at the same time. She is spinning out of control and her family is standing by and letting it happen. I remember the spin. I understand why she's going so nutso.

I feel like I may be being heartless, but I've made the decision that we've done what we can for this poor girl. I have to make sure that Lullah is ok. And she is not ok right now. I can't tell Lullah that she can't hang out with this girl. That's a recipe for disaster. But, I can make sure that I will be too busy to carpool the other girl around town. I can also make sure that Lullah has alternate plans that don't include the other girl.

Am I a horrible human being? Am I as evil as I feel?

I just want her out our lives. I want the toxicity gone. I want Lullah to have friends that support her, that are honest and have some scruples. I didn't realize that was going to be a tall order to fill.

A Diva Mom's reminder...

Redneck Diva's mom sent her a letter I thought I'd share with y'all. Her post prior to the letter will explain if you're confused.

If more of us remembered our worth, our Mom's wouldn't have to remind us. Thank goodness for Diva moms that do the reminding anyway!

Kristin:

I hope Rich Optometrist doesn’t read “blogs”. If he does I will have to start going to Lens Crafters. (ha)

I know just how you feel. It never fails that when you feel you look your worst, your run into people who “appear” to look their best. Most likely this morning neither person could even tell you what you had on last night.

You may wear New Balance shoes (do those come from Wal-Mart? My kids will NEVER wear that brand) (again ha) and not have on make-up, but YOU WERE THERE…………..that is what counts. Do you think Sam cares if you have on make-up? NO, because you are beautiful to him anywhere and at anytime because you are his mother and he loves you unconditionally.

Chances are even if you had been dressed to the hilt and had on your tiara, you would have probably still felt inferior. You know why? Because you allow people to make you feel that way. We are all equal in God’s eyes and are all basically the same inside. It is just that we all have different “shells” on the outside. My shell now comes with gray/white hair, but the old gal is still 18 on the inside. She may not be dressed for the prom today, but she still likes to dance.

Daughter of mine, never, I repeat, NEVER let other people make you feel inferior. You are a wonderful person and an absolutely terrific Mom and I know for a fact that Abby, Sam and Kady would not trade you for any beauty queen in this universe.

Because after all, you know how to make Goop out of cornstarch.

I love you.

Mom

Told y'all she rocked.

Alas, I am here...

Well, I'm quite sure you were all incredibly jealous of my romantic Valentine's dinner. Popsicle and I had a lovely time. Poor Mike had made an overnight trip to Dallas, so cheesy poofs with the cat it was.

I actually had dinner with Mike's parents and his grandmother. Glenn Dale fried catfish (yumminess) and I couldn't turn it down. My mom and I had been painting the bathroom, so I was NOT interested in cooking. Glenn Dale's catfish are always wonderful. Plus Mama Frenchie and her two best gal pals were going to be there and they are always a hoot to hang out with. Lord, if they ever start telling tales on one another! They did tell us some dirty jokes.

After 6 years the bathroom and bedroom are DONE! I feel like an enormous burden has been lifted. I cannot put into words how much I loathed that damn wallpaper. I love hanging out in my room now. It's like a cocoon. We still have some tweeking to do. A new towel rack and TP holder for the bath and a new light fixture for the bedroom and a slipcover for the blue beast. I hate the way recliners look, but I love the way the feel. Comfort wins.

I am now the proud owner of an extremely snotty nose. I have managed to fend off a cold the last week or so. Until last night. Around 11pm I started sneezing and I haven't stopped. I tried to play it off to sinuses and allergies. I don't think I can kid myself anymore. I feel like I ran into a wall. But, I made a trip to Wal-Mart after po-ke-no tonight and picked up 2 boxes of Puff's Plus Lotion so maybe my nose will survive. And some Nyquil liquicaps are in my very near future. Ah, blissful medicated sleep.

I washed clothes today and I will fold tomorrow. Not much of a to do list, but I bet I can get it done. I will probably have to vacuum too, Buttercup is shedding like crazy! The carpet flick isn't keeping up. I'll go broke buying replacement pads. Aside from the laundry and possible vacuuming, I plan on slugging it up tomorrow.

Bonding with my cat...

Me and popsicle are enjoying some Sam's Choice Cheese Puffs. I have to say, they are super yummy.

Just thought I'd share.

My Damned Seven...

NorthEndNique tagged me.

The rules are that you must list the seven songs you are most into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they aren't any good, but they must be songs you are really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they are listening to.

I'm not going to tag anyone, because as I've stated before...I suck. And, there are too many of y'all that I'd like to know y'alls answers to this particular meme. So, if ya ain't too busy let me know what y'all are jamming to.

Here goes:

1) September-(Earth, Wind and Fire) This has been a pretty constant song for quite awhile. It's Lullah and my special song. We dance around like complete idiots to it at least once a week. Usually more.

2)Looking at the World From the Bottom of a Well-(Mike Doughty)- first, it's a kickass song. Second, he's my cousin. Third, somedays I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well.

3)California Love-(Tupac)- I just love this song. Period. Always have, always will.

4)Bullet with Butterfly Wings-(Smashing Pumpkins)-lately I've been a little down. This definitelyely a pissed-off-at-the-world-because-it-sucks-song

5)Bitchin Camero-(The Dead Milkmen)-this is a favorite from waaaay back. I heard it on XM the other day for the first time in forever and now I can't get it out of my head.

6)Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend-(Marilyn Monroe)-Lullah is doing a solo for recital to it and we've been listening to it

7)Boondocks-(Little Big Town)-I don't want to admit it, but I like it. Lullah watches CMT in the morning and the video is cute too.


I told y'all I had ADD. That's a crazy mix of genres. I've also been listening to the Biggie Smalls CD "Life After Death" a lot lately.

Before and after...

In case y'all thought I was kidding when I said I had butt ugly wallpaper in my bedroom I thought I'd share some before pictures with you. I have had this monstrosity since we bought our house 6 years ago. And my entire bathroom is covered in this mess as well. Except it has the ever so lovely paisley border all the way around the room. Yay.

I managed to strip the paper off and repaint last week. Hooray!

Tada the results are...

Lullah informed me that the paint was the color of poop. I told her it was a warm color.

She tactfully stated, "Yeah, well, poop is warm."

You probably noticed the odd shine. I accidentally got semi-gloss instead of satin finish. A friend was in the paint store with her baby and we were visiting. I have ADD, and ordered the wrong thing. I was about half way through the second wall and was wondering why the paint was taking so long to dry. It kept staying shiny. Duh. I'm going to live with it for awhile and see if I hate it. At any rate, it's WAAAAAY better than the paper. I'm getting a slip cover for the baby blue recliner.

If any of y'all have that paper and love it, I apologize. But I was concerned that it was so busy I would eventually start having seizures.

Next week, Mom and I are tackling the bathroom. Poop green. Might as well go with a theme.

I ain't dead...

well, yet anyway. I've been painting and (blech) working! However, I have missed posting. So here's a quick one.

MamaKBear tagged me! Here goes.


1. Four jobs I've had:
Sonic Car Hop
Sales Clerk in the linen department
DJ
Nurse
2. Four movies I can watch over and over:
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
To Kill a Mockingbird
Some Like it Hot
Harvey
3. Four favorite books:
To Kill a Mockingbird (I wanted to be Atticus' kid SOOOOO bad)
Bridge to Teribithia (the first book that really impacted my life)
Olivia (made me blow soda out my nose)
Slaughter House Five (because, honestly, there were parts that
TOTALLY confused me)
4. Four places I've lived:
Colorado (I was 6 months old)
Mississippi
Alabama
Texas
5. Four TV Shows I love:
Gilmore Girls
Grey's Anatomy
Monk
CSI
6. Four Places I've Vacationed:
New York City (my favorite)
Disney World (2nd favorite)
Disney Land (last family vacation before my parents split)
San Antonio TX(I was maybe 7 and I STILL remember the Alamo
7. Four of My Favorite Foods:
Fried Pork Chops
Mike's Mom's french fries
My Mom's pecan pie
Mike's hamburgers
(I jokingly say that if Mike and I ever divorce, part of the settlement will include his hamburgers and his Mom's fries)
8. Four Sites I Visit Daily: Like I just go to four! (and like the Miss America pagent-in no particular order)
Mike Doughty
MamaKBear
Hillbilly Mansion
Angry Black Bitch
9. Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
ASLEEP
NYC
Riding a rollercoaster with Lullah and Mike
At a spa
10. Four People I'm Tagging:
Noone this time. Y'all are safe. For now!